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The weekly Thai
language 'Klong Prao Gazette' (incorporating the Chai-chet Sentinel and Kai
Bae Advertiser) has long been regarded by locals as the last, indeed
only, bastion of free speech in the Klong Prao area. As such it's a
weekly must read for all sober locals with 10 minutes free time on their hands. Now, farangs are able to get an insightful glimpse into what's really
making the news on Koh Chang. These stories have been translated exclusively
for the 'IamKohChang' website . . so count yourself lucky to have found this
page.
Items plucked from
this week's edition:
Missing girl found
Nong Lek returns home after 12 hour absence
At a hastily
arranged press conference Sunday morning, Mrs Somalee na Talad confirmed
that her only daughter, 17 year old Lek had safely returned home after an
absence of 10 hours. Only 10 minutes earlier, Cpl. Yuttichai from the Klong Prao police box
had made a brief statement backing up the rumours that the police search, involving both members of the force, had
been called off at 8.15am.
The drama began late
Saturday night when Nong Lek, described as a "beautiful and funny girl with white skin" by parents, neighbours, friends and total strangers
alike, didn't return home from work at her new job as a waitress at
the nearby 'Heaven & Beyond' Isaan Karaoke restaurant.
Restaurant staff recalled how Nong Lek was last seen talking with a middle-aged man just after the restaurant closed
at 1 a.m. At 2a.m., fearing the worst, Mrs Somalee contacted local police who, the moment the morning shift began
at 8a.m. leapt into action and ordered a search of the area.
A tired and slightly
disheveled Nong Lek eventually made her own way home at 8.05a.m. It
transpired that her
mobile phone battery had failed and therefore she was unable to call her
anxious mother
to explain that she had stayed the night with a friend.
Comforting her tearful Mum, Nong Lek promised to use some of the 1,500 baht
in tips she received the previous night to buy a new battery. In an
exclusive interview with the Klong Prao Gazette, a relieved Mrs Somalee
vowed to issue a multi-million baht lawsuit against Nokia for selling
substandard batteries with their phones.
Apology
'MSG free'
noodles
The Klong Prao
Gazette unreservedly apologises to Mrs. Paveena of 'Paveena's Restaurant,
Laundry and Motorbike rental', Chai Chet for any misunderstanding or loss of
revenue caused by a printing error in our last issue. The offending
article was titled 'Pavenna's restaurant now offers MSG free food'
which should, of course, have read 'Paveena's restaurant offers free MSG
in food' Once again our apologies to Mrs Paveena who serves up
mouthwatering MSG enhanced dishes at very reasonable prices.
New Arrivals
"Oh my god it's
sextuplets!"
Those were the words
that greeted the arrival of six new babies in Wisut and Kannika Chowlay's
house last Wednesday evening. The mother, a Thai ridgeback cross poodle,
named 'Beckham' her two sons and four daughters are all said to be doing
fine. If anyone would like a new puppy please contact Mr Wisut as any
unclaimed within 6 weeks will be given to family friends in Sakhon Nakhon.
Self-study pays
off for Klong Prao native
Local builder surprises
friends
and educators by expanding English vocabulary
26-year old builder Kasem Bundit, a graduate of
Grade
4, Klong Prao School, is today being
hailed by former classmates for expanding his use of English as a second
language. It was late last Wednesday evening that Mr Kasem unwittingly
became the central character in what's being called by at least one
interested party "a
major step towards English language proficiency in the Klong Prao
sub-district".
Mr Kasem takes up
the story; "I was enjoying a couple of beers with friends whilst watching
Channel 3. At 10pm the sports news came on and our topic of conversation
moved to the recent fortunes of the England team. Pee Joy said his favourite
player was Beckham, Somchai said he preferred Owen, Bee mentioned Gerrard,
Duang also plumped for Beckham and then it was my turn. I said "Ledley",
of course referring to England's fifth choice centreback the versatile Ledley King.
An odd choice perhaps, but he does appear very comfortable on the
ball, has a good engine, likes to get forward for corners and free kicks and is one of
the unsung heroes for both club and country."
"This was
misheard by my colleagues, who thought I had said "Heskey", which reduced
them to fits of laughter. I repeated myself "Ledley". Although I
hadn't uttered the word 'Ledley' in public before, I had been practicing the
pronunciation for several weeks, it was only when I has confident I could
pronounce it correctly that I decided to say it in front of an audience as it
does sound a bit like "Heskey" and saying that would be rather embarrassing."
Mr Kasem's former
English teacher told the Klong Prao Gazette that this was just one more
example to kids that they should never stop learning languages even in adult
life, "Kasem has set an example for all of us to follow, learn one new word
a week and given enough time you'll be fluent." noted Ajarn Timjan.
In keeping with his newfound status as a role model for the youth of Klong
Prao, Mr Kasem confided to our
reporter that European languages were his real first love and that he now
aims to add the names of all Italian Serie A teams to his vocabulary. There
appears to be no stopping Mr Kasem's desire to learn!
'What's on?'
Our annual guide
to events in the Klong Prao area
It's time once again
to review the planned events for 2006-07 in Klong Prao. Unfortunately the
proposed beauty contest had to be cancelled due to a lack of suitably qualified contestants but
let's not let that get in the way of enjoying the full range of events taking
place in the Klong Prao municipality over the next 12 months.
January -
February -
March -
April -
May -
June -
July -
August -
September -
October -
November - Loy
Krathong Fair at Klong Prao Temple. Two days of fun filled frolics,
including food stalls, clothes stalls, bingo and a mini-disco.
December -
Kidnap scare for
local family
Found missing girl
missing again
Klong Prao police box
was again placed on a state of alert after Mrs. Somalee na Talad reported
her daughter, Lek, had been kidnapped by two men, this coming only 72 hours
after Nong Lek went missing overnight. After the recent scare Mrs
Somalee took it upon herself to escort Nong Lek home from the Heaven &
Beyond Isaan Karaoke restaurant, where she works as a waitress.
However, as Mrs Somalee arrived at the restaurant she spotted Nong Lek
getting into a pick-up with two unidentified gentlemen. The truck then sped off
into the night, in the Kai Bae direction.
Upon hearing the
news, recently promoted Police Sgt. Yuttichai ordered a search of all dingy
& discreet short time bungalows
in the Kai Bae area to begin within 24 hours if Nong Lek failed to reappear.
Fortunately for all concerned, Nong Lek made her own way home early this
morning explaining to her tearful mother how she had stayed with a friend
and her friend's brother and his friend had given her a lift from the restaurant as
rain was forecast.
Reunited with her Mum,
a weary Nong Lek shook her mobile phone in
anger as she explained her Mum's number had mysteriously been deleted
from it's memory, thereby making her unable to inform her worried parents of
her whereabouts. Immediately after finishing the interview, Nong Lek
rushed over the road to Mr. Suchart's phone & noodle stall to use her 3,000
baht in tips from the previous night's work to put a down payment on a new
Nokia 7720.
In related news,
sources say the, again relieved, Mrs Somalee has instructed her legal team
to revise her proposed multi-million
baht lawsuit against Nokia for faulty batteries to include faulty internal phone
memory.
IT Start up zone mulled
Klong Prao developer keen to reverse
the brain drain
Somchai Shinawatra has never been one
to do things by halves. Since changing his surname two years ago after
being inspired by his, soon to be lesser well known, namesake's
autobiography to revolutionising island transport with his '25 baht for a
half litre of petrol sold in an old litre-pepsi bottle' concessions it's no
wonder he was recently named 'Koh Chang's Young Entrepreneur of the Year
2005'.
Now having, what he modestly describes,
as a four figure bank balance, and Somchai is set to take on the large
corporations with his plan to attract multinationals to Koh Chang. "I
envisage one or two hi-tech start ups initially each occupying up to 1 rai
of prime land at the rear of my parent's house in Klong Prao."
Somchai goes on to mention just a
handfull of the names he hopes 'Somchai's Motorcycle Rental and Hi-tech
Industrial Park' will attract. "Samsung, Philips, LG, Intel,
Seagate, Sun Microsystems, Microsoft. I've emailed them all with an
open invitation for their chairman to call in for a chat if they are on Koh
Chang." In fact, he lets slip that he's also offered a free day's
motorcycle hire to any executive who responds to his email. Call
it bribery if you will, Somchai says it's "Just business" as in the
international business world "you have to be prepared to get your hands
dirty at times."
Although Somchai admits the response
has been sluggish to date, he's sure that his package of well-priced
farmland, "We'll cut down as many of the coconut trees as you require"
ideal location, "There's a minimart and two karaoke restaurants only
minutes away" and abundant natural resources, "A fresh water bore
hole that hi-tech tenants can hook a pump up to, will be dug on the land."
"I guess some of them will be able to use a computerised pump." he
quipped.
Incentives are essential to any
industrial development project. Fortunately, Somchai has all the bases
covered. "I looked at offering BOI status to start-ups and applying to
the central government in order to set up a tax free industrial zone.
However, my father is a good friend of the local tax collector so
'tax-almost-free' status can easily be conferred on investors.
Additionally, it's our land so you can do what you like so long as my Dad
agrees to the plans." Plus, with family members also in the
speedboat rental business, exporting to the growing Cambodian border market
market need not be a problem.
Interested? Call into any roadside
stall that sells petrol in old Pepsi bottles and ask for Somchai.
Appointments
The management of Baraliramalamayaanapuri
Resort and Spa are delighted to announce the appointment of Miss Sritara
Chewit as 'Token staff member who can speak English to a reasonably
competent level.' Announcing the appointment, hotel owner Suwit
Litpanop noted that Miss Sritara had indeed graduated and also proved
herself more than competent in answering questions other than those which
had been rote learned at primary school. Duties include not automatically
deleting enquiry emails which are received via the hotel website, being on
call 24 hours to deal with foreign guests checking in and out and answering picking up
the phone rather than ignoring it on the off chance that it may be a
western caller on the other end of the line. We wish her well.
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